The Kursed Apple
As I was walking through a forest,I saw this fresh juicy apple just waiting to be eaten.
I picked the apple off the tree and I was about to take a bite, until this lady came out of nowhere and said” If you eat that apple there will be consequences.”
To be honest I didn't really care what she said so I took a bite anyways.
Woke up in a bottle. “What the heck! Where am I? is this a dream .?”
Trying to call for help! It's no use! I think back …
Can't take this anymore! Hungry,cold and sick. About to give up until this kid picks me up in the bottle and throws me on the ground. The bottle breaks.
Yay I'm free but I’m still tiny. I don't care because I wont be seen again and I can do whatever I want.
Next steps
More information about each thing that happened eg more about walking in the forest more about eating the apple more about being in the bottle when it was thrown.
More words to describe to describe things to make a picture in your readers head.
Correct use of full stops at the end of each sentence and capital letters at the beginning use of commas.
Strengths
Use dialogue
A beginning , a middle with a problem and a great ending.
Use of paragraphs.
Sharing your feelings.
Tuesday, 16 October 2018
Monday, 15 October 2018
Pasiano's Tech Learning Story
When music hits you, you feel no pain.
We have just finished the music rotation with Mrs Connally. In music; we have been put in groups like a band and in our groups we had to pick a song that we would play with instruments.
In my group there was Prestigious, Keelan and Tevin: the music that we decided to pick was Don’t Worry by Bob Marley.
The instrument that I chose to play was a guitar. Keelan played the ukelele, Tevin played a bass guitar and Prestigious played the piano.
I was good at staying on task by listening to Mrs Connally’s instructions like: “Go and play the guitar” or “Go and play the ukulele” I played the xylophone until I found the right instrument to play which was the guitar.
It was hard for me to stop talking to Keelan because we both were distracting each other, Maybe next time I’m going to move away from Keelan.
I got better at trying new instruments because the only thing I usually play is Fortnite.
I need to work on stop talking to my friends by moving away. The key competency that I was good at was Managing Self because I got on with what I was doing.
The key competency I need to work on is Thinking about how I can play the guitar in our band because my beat was off.
Prestigious’s Feedback: Nano was good at playing the guitar in time with our band. You need to work on not talking when your not supposed to be.
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